The routine has begun that whenever my son gets a “boo boo” he reaches out for mommy to kiss it then all is well in his universe. If it was only that easy with adult hurts. Lately I have gone through a rough patch and my ability to forgive has been push to its limits. I know forgiveness is necessary in order for healing to take place but it would be easier if someone could just kiss it and make the pain disappear. Forgiveness takes work and true forgiveness is no easy task. I was reading a post on my friends facebook wall yesterday and what I read could not have come at a better time. All that I have been struggling with was dealt with in this one simple post.
“People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway.
If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway.
For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.”
― Mother Teresa
It was pointed out to me that in a prior post I forgot to credit where my peace points came from. They are the Fruits of the Spirit from Galatians 5:22-23. I made an assumption that this was common knowledge and those that know me know exactly where my inspiration comes from. My faith is very personal and the core of who I am but I do not choose to wear it on my sleeve. That is what I was trying to say in that post…..The Fruits of the Spirit sums up the nine visible attributes of someone who is living a Christ Centered life. I desire to do that but not by telling others but by showing others. If you know me you know my heart.
There is a distinct difference between being responsible “for” something or someone and being responsible “to” something or someone. This was first pointed out to me in a book called, “Scream free Parenting”. The author basically says we are not responsible for our children and what they do, but we are responsible to them. We have been given this responsibility and it is up to us how we take on that responsibility.
I have been able to apply this in my relationship with my father and with others in my life that have caused me pain. I am not responsible for their behavior but I am responsible to myself and my family to not allow their behavior to alter how I choose to live my life. It is easy to forget this when holidays roll around, I begin to get sentimental wondering if it would be safe to bring those people back into my life. Then I remember I am responsible to my family, to protect them and to show them healthy relationships filled with unconditional love, honesty and respect.
We are ultimately in control of maintaining peace in our lives.
my goal is to daily self check these points in my life In hope of living a more peaceful life.
I have set out yet again to begin writing in the hopes of attaining some peace within my mind. A mind that is so full of thoughts, emotions and confusion that writing is the only thing that can bring it all to a place of understanding. It is the 19th day of November 2012 and I am finally starting to figure out who I am and who I hope to become as a wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend and woman.
This epiphany has slowly come to me through the last 21 months since the birth of my son, Bron Michael. I think having to deal with with post-partum depression, as someone who has never dealt with depression issues, made me become a more reflective person. This allowed me to look at my childhood, whether it be good or bad, and decide what I wanted to take from it in order to ensure my son has a healthy and secure childhood. Now don’t get me wrong I know that I can’t make it all roses for him but I can proactively make an effort to help and not hurt.
With this all said I end with this quote “It’s not the load that breaks you down, it’s the way you carry it.”
― Lou Holtz